Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You left your phone here
Wait...
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