I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
it's great music for shaving your balls
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
