halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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