Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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