...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
