he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
