Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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