I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
