No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
