I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
