He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
