Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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