We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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