Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize