he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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