Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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