Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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