last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
