I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Who died my cat blue again?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
