Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
