I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
