I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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