You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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