you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
