At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
