I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
