Say something about gay babies.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
