I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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