After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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