You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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