I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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