You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
this boner is exhausting
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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