But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
