Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
