my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
