She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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