Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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