I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
