he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
