Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
