I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize