Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize