Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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