It's Friday. Sex?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize