shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
