Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
