The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
