no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
