ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
