I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
