Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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