Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
