omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im holly from the hills drunk
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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