I want to have your abortion
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
