i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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