Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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