So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
