I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
