i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
