i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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