I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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