Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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