I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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