good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
