He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize