A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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