Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
