He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
