I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
birth control should be required to get into college
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
